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After looking
over the signs and symptoms of adolescent Meth use, do you think it
is time to have "The Talk" with your teen?
Take a deep breath. This might be one of the hardest things you'll
have to do as a parent.
First, be prepared. Practice what you want to say, and how you want
to say it. Brace yourself for any type of reaction from your teen -
from denial to anger to confrontation. Teens will sometimes try to
throw their parents' history at them to deflect attention from their own
behavior. Your teen may ask questions about what you did when you were young.
If so, it is best to be honest. If you try to deceive your teen and
the truth comes out later, you will lose credibility. If you drank
underage, or used drugs in the past, connect your use to negative
consequences: "I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored
and wanted to take some risks. But I soon found out I couldn't
control the risks. I lost the trust of my parents and my friends.
There are better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs."
The following
process may help you initiate and complete a conversation with your teen
if you are concerned about Meth use or other substance abuse.
"I Care" - Don't just jump in to the conversation with a list of
complaints or accusations. Let your teen know your love and concern
is still uppermost in your mind. This can help to diffuse defensive
feelings and responses."I See"
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Be specific about the things you have observed that cause you concern.
Try to remain calm, unemotional and factually honest in talking about your
teen's behavior and its day to day consequences. Make it known if
you have found drugs or paraphernalia. Explain what changes you've
seen in your teen's behavior, appearance or attitude that is causing your
concern. Focus on the concerns and why they worry you.
"I Feel" - Be honest about how your
teen's behavior makes you feel. This will remove the sense of blame,
helping you sound less judgmental. You don't need to make
assumptions about the cause of the behavior, or diagnose anything.
You just need to be concerned. This is no easy task; your feelings
may range from anger to guilt that you have "failed" because your kid is
using drugs. This isn't true, and by staying involved you can help
your teen stop using and make positive choices.
LISTEN -This may be the hardest step for
some parents. It requires you to be quiet and respectfully listen to what
your teen has to say. Allow plenty of time for your child to share
feelings, problems and explanations. Be prepared for a variety of
responses, including silence, tears, the disclosure of a significant
problem, anger or even hostility.
"I Want" - Be ready to be specific about
what changes you want to see in your teen's behavior. First,
acknowledge what your teen has said and shared. Then, explain what
action steps you want to see taken. Suggest, don't demand, what you
want to see happen. If possible, allow your teen to come up with a
workable solution. Remember, often referral for professional help is
the most caring thing you can do.
"I Will" - Be ready to share what you
will do to help your teen change and reach the new goals. Will this
include providing moral support? Arranging a meeting with someone
who can help? More listening? Make it clear that you are
willing to keep talking, and if your teen chooses to say nothing right
now, the door is open for future discussion. When discussing these
next steps, you can include setting new rules and consequences that are
reasonable and enforceable. Be firm but loving with your tone and try
not to get hooked into an argument. |
Know the Basics
Wise Up
When to do What
Fact vs Fiction
For More Info
See It Say It
Parent Resources
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